You have nothing to fear but fear itself…

Let’s talk about fear.  The acronym for fear is false evidence appearing as real.  One of my fears that I am working through at this time is speaking in front of a group of people.  I think it goes back when I was back in school and being called upon to go to the front of the class, especially a math class like geometry or trigonometry.  I hate mathematics at that time, could not grasp the concepts.  So, when I was called to go to the blackboard and solve a problem, I had this overwhelming sense of doom and gloom. I was afraid to appear as an idiot who did not comprehend the problem.  I guess it wasn’t just math classes, it was any class that I was having  bit of difficulty with.  I wasn’t sure which part of the classroom I should sit in to avoid the risk of being called upon.  The front of the class, I appeared the most vulnerable so I would sit in the back of the class, behind someone to block the view of the teacher.

Forward to the present.  Last night, we were holding a Health & Freedom Presentation for Usana and I was one of two presenters.  The days before the event, my mind would be racing about the thought of standing in front of strangers and giving this presentation.  I would wake up in the middle of the night going over what I was going to say, what a drag.  So, here we were last evening, the people were arriving and we were setting up.  Dwight had brought with him a projector which would make everything so much easier.  I could turn towards the screen and know what I was going to say, however, we were having a difficult time with the projector and not only that, the flip chart that we were utilizing was one from a year ago and was not up to date.  Oh well, I will wing it and it turned out pretty good.  I hardly stuttered my words and feel that I got the information out without any trouble.  This fear thing was just a figment of my itty bitty shitty committee.  I know as I continue to do these presentations, they will get easier and easier. When I am speaking to an individual about Usana, I have no problem, but this group thing I need to overcome the nagging fear, I am on my way.

Speaking of fears, death is probably the biggest fear we have as a human being.  We really do not have any idea what happens to us when our spirit leaves this body.  There are so many theories on the subject from the concept of heaven and hell that I learned when I was going to Catholic school to dying and reincarnating into another body.  I remember when I went to a summer camp when I was about 8 years old.  We were going swimming.  I jumped into the pool and starting sinking in the deep end.  I did not panic at all but I had the weirdest experience of watching my body floating a few feet from me.  At one point, one of the camp counselors grabbed me by my hair and I shot right back into my body.  I did not have any fear, in fact, it County to boogie board.  The waves that day were very large and at the time, I was not in good shape, I was a smoker and really struggled to get out to catch a wave.  At one point, I took on this rather large wave and got pummeled, lost the board and panic set in.  I kept getting it by wave after wave, pulling me under.  I literally thought that this would be the last day of my life.  I was able to surface and yell for Brad.  He had thought that I was playing him, you know, pretending to be drowning when, in fact, I was.  He came by me and I grabbed his board to catch my breath.  He had saved my life and it’s funny, I was in total panic, fear of dying.  So, what was the difference from the experience as an 8-year-old and when I was 30 years old?  It was probably my ego.  Again as a child, I did not have all the fears that I did as I got older.

I look back and feel that I have learned so much from those fearful times.  I have overcome many of them but there are a few that linger.  When I was at the ER last May for my minor stroke, I did not really feel afraid, went through all the tests but must admit that when I got the MRI, I was feeling a little uncomfortable, claustrophobic.  I knew that there was nothing there to fear but I wanted to bust out of that contraption.  Well, maybe there are a few residual fears lurking about in my psyche that I need to look at.

What are your fears? Are they real and valid or just something that you picked up along the way?  Maybe what Roosevelt said a while back is true “There is nothing to fear but fear itself”.  Oh well, have a great day and a wonderful weekend.  I will.  Peace out!

 

Welcome Home!

Ok, I know, I have been lagging on doing my blog but I am back and here we go.  Yesterday was a busy day from the beginning.  Rox and I awoke and got ready to go on a road trip.  Mike and Judy were driving up to Olympia, Washington to his son and new daughter-in-law’s new home to prepare for their homecoming.  Gary, his son, is in the military and was arriving home from Turkey with Gokcen, his new bride.  We took separate cars from Portland, the guys drove in one car and the girls in the other and we drove up I-5 to our destination.  We hung up some pictures in their new home along with an American flag on the front of the house.

After we were done with that, we proceeded up I-5 to the Sea-Tac Airport to meet them, however, there was a minor glitch, we did not know what airlines or what gate they were arriving at.  They had left Turkey the day before and the flight was about 28 hours with a few stops in between to change planes.  When we arrived at the airport, we parked and went to the International arrivals and wondered how this would all play out.  We looked to see if there were any arrivals at the international arrival gate coming from Washington Dulles Airport, no luck.  We decided to go to the USO office at the airport, no luck.  We were getting a bit hungry, so we decided to get a bite to eat and wait. We thought that it was unusual that we did not hear from Gary, their flight was to arrive at 12:05 and it was going on 1:30.  What were we going to do?

As we were eating, we wondered if Gary and Gokcen could have been delayed somewhere on the planet when we received a call, it was Gary.  Mike’s face lit up when he was told that they were at the baggage claim near where we were, yea!  We got up from our table and rushed over to the baggage claim, waving out homemade American and Turkish flags.  We spotted them and all was well. It turned out that their flight was direct from Germany, he had Skyped Mike about all the flight info but Mike did not even think to check Skype, he was expecting a call but Gary’s cell phone was not functioning.  In the end, it all worked out, how funny that is, isn’t it?

We got their luggage in the two cars and they drove them to see their new home and we drove back to Portland.  We stopped at Mike and Judy’s to drop off their bags and proceeded home. We ate some dinner and settled in to watch the newest X-Men Wolverine movie when half way through it, we received a call from Mike.  They had gotten home and Judy was off to pick up Jen, Mike’s daughter along with her husband Pat.  They were coming over to see Gary and Gokcen.  Mike asked us if we would like to come over for some wine and birthday baklava, so we got dressed and drove over.  It was a fun time had by all.  It was so cool to see Mike beaming, he hadn’t seen his son Gary since the debate party a year ago last October.  That was when we met Mike & Judy.

This weekend, there will be a big bash for the newlyweds at the Lucky Lab at Multnomah Village, it will be a combination of a hero’s welcome home, a birthday party and a wedding reception all rolled into one.  It looks like it should be a great time. I could only think what must be going through Gokcen’s mind right about now.  She is almost 21 years old, had never left her home town in Turkey and here she is now in the US, new language, new lifestyle, new everything and 7500 miles from home and family.  All of us here are making a concerted effort to make her feel welcome and to let her know that we are her new family and that we will do everything we can to help them feel comfortable.

As the little get together was coming to an end last night, we were all feeling the effects of the travel, the Pendleton whiskey and some Old Vine Red.  Gary was still kicking from the effects of a Frappacino and a Red Bull but Gokcen’s eyes were closing as she sat next to him.  We said our goodbyes and went home, a long day indeed.  So I do wish to say to Gary Welcome Home and to Gokcen Welcome to America and to our family.

I just got a Skype from Mike, they are all up right now ready to start the new day.  Gary wants to look for a new car as well as appliances for their new home.  Mike also wished to thank us for all we have done yesterday and we are just happy to have done it, after all, what are friends for?  No, really, we do care for you guys and have no problem.  Got to go, need to get ready for our Health & Freedom Presentation this evening.  I hope that you all enjoyed sharing yesterday’s adventure with me, it was a fun time.  See you tomorrow.

Oh, Joy!

Do you ever wonder if there is more to life than what is currently happening to you to this day?  I do, I sometimes wonder my purpose on this planet.  I often think to myself how grand it would be  like a child, you know, looking at the world through a child’s eyes.  I was waiting in line at my Starbucks, it is my usual stop during my daily walk.  There was a woman talking to the assistant manager, Jennifer, about the past Halloween activities that took place in Multnomah Village.  She was telling Jennifer how her children were having a difficult time wrapping their brain around Halloween.  I cut in and said “Not much to grasp for them, it’s candy, lots of candy”. They both chuckled to my remark.  She had said that her children were just 3 and 5 years old, one was dressed as a puppy and the other was a tiger.  I started flashing back to my younger years during this fun holiday and reminisced about the costumes that I wore and the bags of candy collected that seemed to have lasted through Christmas.  I am amazed that I have any teeth left from consuming so much sweets through the years.  Going back to my point, we were so innocent back in the days before ego, you know, all those beliefs and fears that we picked up at an early age that took us away from seeing the world around us without the shit.  I often wonder too, what my life would had been like if I had children, would I have been a wonderful parent?  I sometimes think so but it never came to pass.

So, back to my train of thought, I truly believe that we are here to experience all we can of this wonderful creation that we call life.  It is funny how we are so caught up in the mundane, well, it is not really funny.  Our lives seem to wrap around money issues, the lack of it, the bills and debt, entertainment in the way of television, movies and the like.  I really feel at peace when I escape the city with all its temptations and go out into nature.  When I lived in San Diego, I had my place of comfort, located about an hour from town, a place called Stonewall Peak.  I would like to just sit on a rock, feel the breeze on my face and watch the hawks fly by.  There is so much out there that go by unnoticed in our daily life.  I usually walk each day and I would happen to catch glimpses of things that are just beautiful that to the normal eye, are invisible to us.  Today, I was on SW 35th Avenue, walking at a good clip up this hill, and I was looking down, caught a glimpse of a small red leaf, a small yellow leaf, sitting among some rocks, some were painted for some unknown reason.  I stopped a took a picture of it and found it quite surreal.  I continued my walk and with each step, I decided to repeat to myself, I…Am…Joy.  I just wanted to remind myself that we can experience joy at anytime if we put our minds to it.  I used to smoke a lot of pot years back so that I could experience something like joy in my life.  I look back now and realized that I was just covering up joy in my life.  I decided to quit and am grateful that I did.  I now have a better sense of what joy is.  I walk and look out at the beauty around me and feel exhilarated.

I have not found my power spot, my peaceful place like Stonewall Peak here in Portland.  I am sure that it is out there somewhere waiting for me to discover it.  We all need that place, Superman had it with his Fortress of Solitude.  We all need that Fortress of Solitude, don’t you think? Especially in these times of stress, the fast pace of life.  Again, going back to my original train of thought about the meaning of our lives.  For many, it is raising children, for others it is their career, we all have a purpose and reason for our life on planet earth.  I am still wondering what it is, maybe if I stop wondering and just live, laugh, love and cherish the succession of moments with a sense of joy, a sense of gratitude for having the opportunity to exist here.  Here is a thought, we are here to experience the entire creation in all its glory, it is a gift, we need to stop that internal dialogue that drives us f__king nuts and slow down, look at things around us with a different perspective.  God, this planet and all its creatures and plant life, it is truly awe-inspiring.  Our purpose on Earth, I believe, is to experience it, maintain it, pass it on to our children and their children, we must become more conscious and aware of what we are doing to it and turn it around. If I could change one person’s thinking so that they would understand what I am trying to say, maybe that is the reason that I am here.  I hope that I could do that.  I love my life, I love Rox and all the friends that I have met throughout my life, I love the simplest things that I see in my daily living, and now ask yourself “What is my purpose of being here?”  Am I living my life in joy? If not, why not?

Imagine…

Wow, I just looked at my stats for my blog and yesterday not one person read my entry, oh well, hopefully today will different.  I had just watched a video from Brasscheck TV and it was a commencement speech at Harvard in 2008 by J.K Rowlings, author of the Harry Potter books.  She had touched on a few things that I would like to talk about here today.  First of all, she is not liked by the Bush people, O’Reilly and others and I could see why.  She began telling everyone how she had gone through some pains and fears along the way to where she is today.  After 7 years since she heard her commencement speech when she graduated, she went through a horrible marriage, was broke and nearly homeless.  She had been working at Amnesty International and began writing during her lunch hours.  As she spoke, I looked back at my life and remembered when my marriage broke up, we had just completed the 40 day Arica Intensive and I was without a job, the trailer we lived in went to my ex’s sister and husband.  I had no savings and it was rock bottom for me but you know, I was alive, I had no fear at that point.  I lifted myself and moved back to Miami and started my road back from the dregs.

The story continues to where I moved to San Diego following a dream that I had to be with a woman, Linda, whom I fell in love with one summer. I sold my car, packed my bag, one box of books, said good-by to my family and flew to California.  When I arrived, I jumped into a cab to the address that she had given me three months prior.  The excitement was building as we drove towards my destination.  We pulled up to the house and I took a deep breath.  I walked up to the front door, knocked and waited.  Mind you, I never told her I was coming, it was to be a surprise.  The door slowly opened and a guy answered.  I told him who I was and that I was here to see Linda.  He had stated that his name was Brad and that Linda was one of his housemates but that she could not come down because she was with her boyfriend, Richard.  Ok, that was interesting.  Brad, who later became my best friend til this day showed me around and helped me find a place to stay.  I know that there was a point to be made here, oh yes, in life we have to sometime relinquish control.  I had a dream and I followed it but the results were not what I expected.

Another thing that J.K. Rawlings talked about was imagination.  Remember when we were children, we sure had active imaginations, didn’t we?  What happened?  I know, as we aged, we became like puppets and lost our ability to imagine.  Rox and I always talk about manifestation where we must think and above all, feel what we would like to have in our lives.  We are doing that now, wanting to live our lives doing what we love and the rest will follow.  I love to write and paint and imagine myself earning an income from it.  Another thing that I imagine is working with Mike and Judy on Meography, telling people how this could change their lives and the lives of their families.  Again, I see these things in my mind’s eye but the difficult part for me is feeling deep in my heart, I have always been a right brain person, you know, methodical and anal, I need to shift that to feelings in order to see my dreams come true.  We all have that capacity within us, we just sort of strayed.  We got to caught up with the outside and lost our ability to imagine.  Right now, we are not employed and do not wish to return to the rat race.  We want to do what we love and I am beginning to feel it.

She had also spoke about friendships.  I cannot tell you enough how we value our friends.  Neither of us have much of a family anymore and our friends have become our family.  I value all my brothers and sisters we have in our life right now.  I wish that there was a way that they could all be around us right now.  After leaving SD, I had left 29 years of friendships, too many to mention here but lo, never to be forgotten.  Before I leave this planet, I must get back there and see every one of them, to tell them that I love and care for them with all my heart, they have helped me get to where I am today in my life, thank you all, you are magnificent.

I would love to have the imagination that J.K.Rawling has.  She explained how she had hit her rock bottom and was able to rise above it, she was glad to be alive and to love her daughter.  She is now the most wealthiest women in Great Britain and not just monetarily.  She had a lot to share with the commencement class and I am glad that I saw the video, it was truly inspiring. If you are at rock bottom, there is really nothing to fear, we are capable to rise above it, I had the experience and grateful for it.  Now it is time to imagine and to manifest.  Have a great day and if interested here is the link to that video… http://www.brasschecktv.com/page/730.html Enjoy and see you tomorrow.

Moment to moment…

God, I love autumn.  Today I went out on my daily walk which usually covers about two miles and I must say, everyday is so different.  Today, the weather had dried up a bit after some good rain and the temperature is in the 50′s and will get up to the 60′s.  I plugged in Pandora and began the walk.  I am now able to go up some pretty steep hills without stopping to catch my breath and I am proud of that.  Along the way, I see all the trees changing colors, the reds, yellows and orange.

These daily walks gives me time to think about my life, as well as thoughts about my next work of art. I have a good idea what my next one will be about and I even have the title of it, “Outside the Box”.  So stay tuned, I will post it in the near future.  I did complete one yesterday called “Eclipse”, very simple yet dynamic.  I am starting to truly enjoy doing these paintings and I know that Rox is loving it as well.  Yesterday morning, Rox was having a bit of difficulty with a resume she was doing on the computer and she had to step away.  I told that maybe that was a sign that she really doesn’t want to do a job at this time.  I also said that you really need to do something that you truly love and the rest will come.  It would be an ideal situation to earn a living painting, being artists.  Many people currently do that and if we can simplify our lives, and focus on our creativity, we may just be able to pull it off. We do have 18 pieces now hung in a restaurant here in Portland, we also have an art showing there coming up on Nov. 9th which we are excited about, it is a Meetup group and a Happy Hour.  In the meantime, we will be looking for another place to show in town fo the month of December.  A little over a year ago, I would have never thought that we would be painting, I thought that I would be back to working a job in an industry that I have grown tired of.  Because of the economy here, those job opportunities had fallen through.  I continue to work with a group here with Usana, my heart is into helping others and I will not stray from that path.  In the meantime, we continue to paint and I am writing my blog as you can see.  Now, if I could land a gig of writing, say for a paper, or mag, wow, that would be icing on the cake.  I need to see how I can increase my readership.  I do thank you all who are reading my blog and pass it on to friends.  I try to be diverse in what I write about, one day it will be about my walk, our art, spiritual stuff, life here in Stumptown, friends and I do need to get back into meeting that new person each day and write about the interaction.

Life is truly good and we are grateful where we are.  Granted we are still renting where we would rather have our own home but we are optimistic that when the time is right, we will be in our dream home.  We are learning not to get into the fears of being without but to be grateful for what we have now in our lives. We are fortunate to have a roof over our heads, great friends, time to pursue art and writing and know that there also will come a time that we will prosper and help others. I am looking to get involved in volunteering, specifically Breast Friends, an organization that aids women with breast cancer.  Whether they need a ride to a doctor’s appointment, or to help them get their groceries, whatever they need, I would like to help. hey, I have the time and I do wish to help.

Yep, life is good right now.  My health seems to be improving and I am so glad to be alive.  Halloween is tomorrow, there is a children’s trick or treating happening in the village, hope we have an opportunity to attend but we are scheduled to help our friend Kathy move into her new home and there is a Gator game tomorrow afternoon, I tell you there is so much to do around here.

Well, Happy Halloween everyone, don’t eat too much candy and enjoy the little ones coming to your door in their little costumes, something to cherish.  Peace out!

 

 

Tuesday night, laptop and Pandora

Here we are, Tuesday night and I am on my laptop while my honey bunny is watching a Netflix movie called The Might Boosh, an English comedy which is a bit similar to The Flight of the Conchords.  I am here attempting to write my entry but a bit distracted by this film.  Since my last time being here, we took Rox’s last painting to be hung at the restaurant where we currently have our art displayed.  Yes, we are artists, we have an exhibition, our first, yes, we are artists.  Still sounds a bit funny to say that but I will continue to say it til it sinks in.

I started another painting yesterday on the advice of Mike, we must continue to add to our collection and also find another place to display our art.  I am now working on a 24 x 36 canvas, I had put a coat of gesso and then drew a 3″ diameter circle along with a long triangle, both red, I then drew a 1″ wide line running from top to bottom.  I then stopped there and went on my daily walk.  There is a good possibility that it is finished, not sure.  Today, Mike came over to look at it and felt along with Judy that it looks good just like it is.  We’ll see.

Mike, Rox and I went to Art Media to get some more canvasses, paint, some tools that I could use such as a compass, and a flexible strip to use in making curves.  I will be starting another painting tomorrow, the canvas is 12 x 48, I have a good idea what it will be about.  I will start with a black gesso which we also bought today and it will probably be filled with multicolored spheres, should be interesting.   Yep, we’re artists.

Last night, I went to the Happy Hour Professionals Meetup group that was held at the Delta Cafe, a cafe and bar that specialized in Southern cooking and a feel of a New Orleans establishment.  Tamara, the organizer for this group, was touting how wonderful the food was and when I arrived, she had just gotten an order of black-eyed peas fritters with a cheese sauce with an order of sweet potato fries.  I must say that they were very tasty.  I ordered a glass of Cabernet and spoke to two gentlemen who were new to this group.  One of the men, TJ, was newly single and seemed a bit nervous to me to be out doing this kind of thing and I felt for him.  We discussed business, he owned his own business, he was 6th generation carpenter.  He told me that he had a 24 year old son who was studying to be a physicist he told me with a feeling of pride for his son.

Later that evening, I sat at a table with a couple other gentlemen, ordered some hush puppies with chicken gravy, wow, they were huge, all six of them.  I offered some of them since there was no way I could eat them all.  We were joined by Karen, a woman from Florida who moved here just a month or more ago.  Also joining us was Vicky, a school counselor from Portland.  We ended up talking about Spirituality, she was doing the Course of Miracles which I have known for many years and I began telling her of my journey and association with Arica.  We must have spoken for at least an hour or more about our paths.  I must say that it was a wonderful change to discuss spiritual stuff instead of the usual fair of business, politics, other meetups, etc.  Thank you Vicky. It just seemed more genuine, more heartfelt and I was grateful for our conversation.  Rox would have enjoyed last evening, the place, the food, the people but she chose to say home and clean up her studio and she did not want to get burned out on the gatherings.

I am going to sign off, by the way, Halloween is upon us, are you going to dress up?  This is the time for us adults to act like kids again, maybe I will go trick or treat, nah.  Take care, thanks again for coming by, peace out!

Today is going to be a good day

"A beautiful day" by John

Woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain, however today is going to be a good day.  I was just thinking about the other night when I was talking to a woman at Gil & Jen’s pumpkin carving party.  She was talking about her life, her desire to go to medical school, and I had asked her age and she responded 25.  I, all of a sudden, flashed back to when I was 25 years old. I was single again after being married to Joy for about two years.  I moved back to Miami, leaving Gainesville, and had completed my 40 day Intensive with Arica.  My life at that point had taken a dramatic change, you could say I became more conscious. Life had much more meaning than it ever had up to that point.

Back to the party, listening to how she wanted her life to be.  Here I am 61 and I told her that she has her whole life ahead of her and that she can do whatever she likes, it is all good. Ah, to be 25 again and know what I know now.  I know many of you out there can relate.  I sometimes can’t believe how fast the years have flown by.  I do understand that a day, say, 36 years ago is the same as a day today.  Same amount of time, you know, the minutes and the hours in a day.  However, I look back and go Wow!  I remember moving to San Diego in 1976, seemed like yesterday, 33 years later, here I am in Portland, married to Rox, living our dream and it has been over a year since we arrived here.  Now, I understand No Time.  Everything in my life has been in No Time.  Uh, ho.  Getting a little heavy over here today.

Ok, back to the present or near present.  Yesterday, I hung out with Mike while Rox and his wife, Judy, went to an art event.  Mike and I went to an art show at a Jewish Community Center near our home.  We enjoyed seeing a couple of fine artists and began discussing how he feels about my art.  He told me that I am an artist and I told him that it sounds foreign to me since I had not expressed any creativity in my life before arriving here in Portland.  He was serious and not poking fun at me.  He loved what I was doing and suggested that I stay with forms, you know, circles, squares, triangles, etc.  He had also said that I was great with content even though I had only started painting about a year ago.  He thought that it was such a great thing to have Rox’s and my art hanging in a restaurant.

We had also discussed our financial situation and he was relieved that we were doing ok but that we need to pump out the art pieces and seriously get into display and sales of our stuff.  I am inspired again after a little time off.  Last night on 60 Minutes they had a segment about the Guggenheim Museum in NYC that was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.  When the segment was filmed, they were having an exhibit by Kandinsky, my all time favorite artist.  Many of his paintings included the forms that I enjoy as my medium, which now has given me some ideas.  I am ready to rock and roll and create some new pieces.  I will include them in my future entries for you to see.  I, again, am trying to grasp the notion of me being an artist but I am sure in time, or No Time, that I will own it.  Mike was the cause of me getting into painting along with his lovely wife, Judy.  He has also told me to consider writing a blog which, as you see, I have been doing and truly enjoying.  My aim in writing is to help remind you about Life, to let you know how important a role that each of us play in this game called Life.  I know that I sometimes just rant or talk about my day but sometimes I do choose to get into some interesting topics, or hope they’re interesting.

Today is going to be a good day, I am going to begin another piece of art, I am going to get off my ass and do what artists do, I am an artist now, still hard to say but in time.  I wish you all a good day today, I know it is Monday for many of you working and it is also rainy here. I no longer let rainy days and Mondays get me down, it is all good, it is how you look at it.  Love life, take a deep breath, enjoy every moment because those moments seem to be moving at a rapid rate. See ya tomorrow, love you all.

Night of the Pumpkinheads

A couple of Pumpkinheads

We are getting close to Halloween, you can feel it in the air and see it all over the city.  Here in Portland yesterday, there was the annual Zombie Walk which I regret, we missed.  The air is cool, leaves are falling, and it is ideal for that wonderful Halloween spirit.  We were invited to attend a Pumpkin Carving last night by Gil & Jen.  The beginning of the party was dedicated to the children of their friends and when we arrived the kids were all having a wonderful time.  The moms and dads sat on a tarp with their young ones and began to carve their personal pumpkin which were provided by the hosts.  They were able to take them home which I thought was such a nice gesture on the parts of Gil & Jen.

The kids really enjoyed themselves til it was time for them to head home with Jack o’ Lanterns in tow.  I am sure that they cannot wait until next Saturday to dress up in costumes and head out to trick or treat.  After the children and parents had left, the big kids arrived to party.  They slowly trickled in and enjoyed some of the fine venison chili as well as vegetarian chili that was prepared by Chef Gil.  The venison chili, the spicy one, was superb, so kudos to the chef.  As usual, there was plenty to eat and drink.  Everyone was shmoozing and getting along until Gil began the adult pumpkin carving with prizes to be awarded to the scariest, funniest and creative pumpkins, as well as the overall winner.

Rox settled into the group of carvers on the tarp and proceeded to do one with a scary skull and flames.  There were some really good carvings included on that had an owl and moon, it was very well done.  One person had made an outhouse out of one, it was pretty cool.  One really hilarious one was done by Tim.  He took two cuttings of hands and placed them on each side of the bottom of the pumpkin which looked like an anus, everyone was roaring over that one (see photo).

Last night there were three or four of us with bald heads, and we began talking about how we got bald.  Loic, who we met at a previous party at Gil & Jen’s, told us that he was growing bald at the age of 17 and decided to buzz his hair at an early age.  I told my story that I was thinning in the front and about six years ago, Rox thought that I should just go ahead and take a razor to it.  I have been bald ever since.  Loic and I both agree that bald is beautiful.  Another person at the party, Fritz, was also sporting the bald look but we did not get the lowdown on the reason that he went bald.  Later in the evening, another gentleman came in, he had a long beard, including sideburns but no hair on his head.  I now wished that a photo would have been taken of the four of us, oh well.

As the night progressed, people were feeling quite righteous, Jen was going around handing out shooters of Jagermeister, she was feeling no pain by the time the voting of the pumpkins took place.  It was close to midnight and everyone was ready for the voting.  There was one that was quite unique, a woman, I apologize but I did not get her name had carved leaves and decorative holes and her husband poured some water over dry ice into it.  It was a holder for a bottle of wine with vapor coming out of it, that was cool, that won a prize for creativity.  Gil had carved out a scary cat, another was the outhouse with a swinging door and a carved crescent moon.  The one with the owl and moon was awesome.  Loic and his girlfriend carved a huge mouse on the side of their pumpkin, did a fabulous job.

Well, Rox and I said our goodbyes and I must say that Portlanders are very friendly people.  I can’t remember feeling so comfortable around

Obscene

people who we maybe only met one other time, it’s as though we’ve known them for years.  Time to sign off, enjoy your Halloween, and Loic, bald IS beautiful, try the razor at least once and let us know how you like that.  Peace out!

Out with the old and in with the new…

I don’t know about you, but I need to change my focus.  I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, raised by my mother and grandmother, both from France.  My father left us when I was about 1-1/2 years old, my mother was the sole bread-winner.  We were living in what was known as the projects. a series of buildings that were rentals, with courtyards and play areas for the kids.  Back then, women did not really make as much money as the men did but my mom knew how to stretch each dollar that she made as an accountant.  I am grateful for all she did for us and now I am ready to move into a new paradigm, a new way of approaching life..

The new paradigm in my life is now to focus on the things that I want, not what I don’t have.  Today, as I was out on my morning walk, I was struck by the beauty around me and I decided to start saying to myself as I walked, I am Joy.  I would see all the lovely trees with their leaves turning beautiful shades of yellows and reds, I was touched.  We seem to get caught up in all the shit, you know, fears, lacks, judgments, expectations, and on and on and on. I am literally tired of it.  I want change in my life.  I want the time and freedom to enjoy everything that life has to offer, to be able to travel, to be able to paint, to help others,to maybe even write a book.  All it takes according to some experts out there is to focus on what you want and not on what you don’t want.  Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  I wish that it was that easy but I think that it begins with the first step, be grateful for what you have now in your life.  I am grateful for many things such as my lovely wife and partner, Rox, my friends who accept me for who I am, a roof over my head although I wish that it was on our new home, our two girls, Chunky & Sammie who give me moments of quietude and lower blood pressure. I also am grateful that I am still alive and in good health.  I still have much to accomplish and I do wish to help others.

So, out with the old and in with the new.  A new thinking is now in order.  My business is flourishing, people are finding their way to my goods and services.  We have everything that we need and we lack for nothing.  Joy is all around us and we surround ourselves with loving and caring friends.  I know what you must be thinking, what is he smoking?  Well, I truly believe that we are all here in order to be happy, we as human beings want happiness.  The other day, I was watching Oprah where the show was about the happiest people on earth.  She had a number of women on from Copenhagen, Dubai, Istanbul, Tokyo, and Rio de Janeiro.  The most happy were from Copenhagen.  Why? Well, they said that they worked in jobs that they were interested in, they were not that much into consumerism like here in the States.  They had little crime or homelessness.  If they lost their job, the government would take care of them for almost a year.  There was not a feeling of fear on the streets, you could actually leave your baby in a carriage outside alone.

So, I do think that we could change the way we think in order to achieve happiness in our lives and I am going to make a huge effort in doing so.  I will make up reminders for myself to keep the positive thoughts present.  I do not lack for anything, I am grateful for everyone and everything in my life.  I will begin complimenting others for who they are or what they have accomplished.  I will praise every single thing I see, I will walk, talk, think and breathe appreciation and gratitude. I will say thank you at every turn.  I know that my outer life will change to reflect my inner state of being.

I vow to make a conscious effort to change my life.  I am ready to experience financial freedom, I am ready.  I am ready to experience more joy in my life, I am ready.  We are meant to experience the creation in joy and happiness, to be grateful and appreciate everything we see feel and hear.  Join with me, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.  Thanks again for allowing me to express myself and hope that what I have said will be a catalyst towards you being more joyous in your life. I love you all and appreciate you being part of my life.  Peace out!

Art, finger and more…

Last night Rox and I went to the Happy Hour Professionals Meetup  at a place called The Blue Monk in SE Portland.  We had a good time meeting familiar faces along with some newbies.  Rox played some pool, I ate some shrimp tacos along with a martini.  We then left to return home, Thursday night television was awaiting.  We love Flashforward and I had to watch one of my favs, Survivor.

I sat down with my laptop to check mail and I went on Facebook to see what was going on when I stumbled upon one of Mike’s entries.  It showed a photo of a finger tip that was severed by  saw.  I had thought that it was something that he may have found on Youtube but when I read one of the comments, it turned out that he was the one who sawed the tip of his left fore finger.  I immediately called him and he answered saying that they were in the ER getting fixed up.  He sounded like he was under some pain meds and he told me that he was bandaged up and awaiting release to go home.

Mike and Judy were laying new wood flooring and they were about finished, he was cutting the final piece of the plank when he noticed a chunk of something on the saw table.  It was his finger tip.  Oh my, what a sight it was to see on FB.  He had mentioned that he was to see a plastic surgeon because they thought that the tip could not be sewed back on.  Mike, toy were fortunate that you were not on your blood thinners any longer, that would not have been a good thing. I pray for a speedy recovery and I

"Not to be forgotten" by Rox

will see you later today to help move your furniture back into your bedroom so that you have a place to sleep tonight.  Hang in there, my brother and Judy, you hang in there as well. We are here if you need us for anything.

Today we awoke to some rain and looks like the fall weather pattern is here.  The high today here in Portland will be around 60 with showers continuing throughout the day.  It looks like a good day to paint.  Rox will be busy on getting here one large piece framed in order to take it to the Wild Abandon where the rest of our art is hanging.  We will be scheduling a Happy Hour Meetup/Art Show for November 9th, giving people an opportunity to see what we have done since we arrived here from Florida.  We are officially artists, Rox and I.  Sounds kind of foreign to me, I would never have thought I myself as an artists.  Now if we could sell some pieces, that would be totally cool.  Rox had printed labels with the names of each piece along with the price.  One of my favorites was one that Rox did, it measures 24″ wide by 48″ tall, she priced it out at $750, well worth it, it is a spectacular work of art called “Not to be forgotten”.

Another thing that I wanted to mention is that Mike’s son, Gary, who is serving in the military, will be coming home from overseas in about ten days with his lovely, new bride Gokcen.  We both cannot wait to see them and also give Gary a hero’s welcome home.  Mike and Judy were able to watch the wedding and reception through Skype.  Mike, Judy and Rox were dressed up and were sharing in the festivities thanks to the technology.  Oh, I forgot to mention that the wedding took place in Turkey, Gokcen’s home.  I saw some of the footage and how exciting it was especially for Mike, to see his son get married to such a lovely and wonderful young woman. Gary and Gokcen, have a wonderful trip and we will see you soon.

Ok, time to eat some breakfast and move on with our day.  Have a wonderful weekend and Mike, get well soon and please no more graphic pics on Facebook, ok?  Bye for now.